Letting Go.
I think there’s something wrong with me… and I’m not referring to my over-excessive use of profanities (I think I fill my curse quota just fine, thank you).
At my workplace, we have over 4,000 members. And in that wee total, we have some seriously gorgeous boys. I’m talking Grade-A-Break-Me-Off-A-Piece-Of-That-Chocolate-Chip-Premium-Beef and if you’re lucky enough, with personality to boot. And with the work that I do, I have to talk to these lads so it’s not as if I’m cut off from them. I get my male clients asking me out so you think with all the boy action buzzing around, I’d be:
a) casually seeing someone
b) dating Mr.Premium Beef
but alas, it’s c) I’m still here by myself.
One of the gripes my mum used to have about me and my messy room back in the day was that I used to keep everything and I mean everything! The thought of throwing out my old TeddyBears or books absolutely horrified me so in me cupboard they went. Primary to high school to college and now on my recent trip back, I still have them and have no means to chuck them out. I’ve managed to keep all my assignments and lil bits of paper from my uni days and graduation was only 3 years ago.
Tis simple: I thrive in familiarity and am lost without it.
It’s been 9 months since my longest relationship ended and you think for the person who had the courage to walk away from it, that I would be okay seeing I initiated its termination.
So why does it still feel like I’m struggling to stay afloat? Why can’t I let it go?
Why won’t I?
My last client that I saw today was absolutely gorgeous.
The bland 411?
28yrs, 6"1, pure muscle, gorgeous eyes and was half-caucasian and croatian. The boy had personality to boot and we got on like a house on fire. He made it clear that he knew that we had chemistry and was hinting that we should perhaps go out.
However did I take the hint?
No.
Cause apparently Reshmi’s retarded as they come.
*sighs* I just cracked a smile and brushed it off.
And thinking about it now, it annoys me. Cause I’m a pedantic type of person and to not know how long will I be in this emotional funk for just frustrates and infuriates me.
Why is it so hard? Why can’t I let it go??
